I received a text from a friend last week that we haven’t talked in a long time and that she will call me that evening. I had a conference call that evening and offered a few alternate dates for us to connect. She asked if I could call her when I’m driving home that day. Of course, why didn’t I think of that? I mean I do have Bluetooth. When we spoke, she told me that it was important to her to have our friendship in the new year. I told her that I wanted the same. We both realized that we have less time to connect but want to make it a goal to bring our priceless gift of friendship into the new year!

Having besties is good for my health and wellbeing. I’ve always seemed to have one or two besties that I hang out with and could talk to about anything. Come to think of it, it has helped to have key friends around through the good and not so good times. Maybe you can relate.

Healthy friendships are not easy to build or maintain, especially when you’re growing a career, family and/or business. When I get home and my children eventually are in bed, I have no motivation to go onto Facebook or scan my phone contacts to see who I can text in a moment of boredom (what is boredom anyways??). And because social ties take time to nourish, I find that in this stage and season of life I make less and less new besties. That’s why for me to achieve this goal (to go into the new year with my besties) I will need to take some action steps and make some necessary shifts in my thinking.

Tips to help bring your besties into the new year:

  • Reconnect with healthy friendships and let them know how much you appreciate them. Besties do not come and go as waves do. There’s no reason to be confused. You know the friends you want to reach out to and reconnect with.
  • Don’t schedule in your friends. True friends don’t expect to spend hours with them, whether in person or on the phone. My besties and I are realistic that we may not talk all the time and when we do it may not be a long conversation. But whenever we have a break like during our commute or while grocery shopping, we know we can call each other on the fly. If one of us has to cut the call or meet up short, it's understandable and no offense would be taken.
  • Coworkers can be besties. At my work holiday party, my coworker friend took a picture of me upon my request. She made me laugh so hard when I discovered that before taking this picture, she had taken a selfie using my phone. It’s qualities like non-judgmental, able to see the humor in life and kindness that standout in this bestie.
  • Be open to having new besties. I met a new friend this year at a networking event. We both have come to appreciate the conversations we share from entrepreneurship to talking about my children and her fur babies.

Who have you not spoken with in a while and have been thinking about reaching out to?

What shifts are you willing to make to ensure that you bring your besties into the new year?

Have some existing or promising friendships sizzled out of your life and you have reached out and have tried to reconnect but it has not been reciprocated?

Relationships rely on mutual interactions. You can only control your own behaviour. So, take some time to examine your own contribution to the dynamics of those relationships and move on with lessons that will help you to cultivate healthy, lasting friendships in the new year!

Be well where you are!

xx

Sabrina 

Dress: Vera Wang

Shoes: H&M